Clue
by Anonymous Quill
Summary: Harry and the gang are in a manson solving a murder mystery. Based off the movie Clue, this is a very funny story! a must read!


CLUE PART ONE  
  
SECRET SPILL  
  
  
  
Harry was so excited for the party he was going to that night. Yesterday, he had received a letter from Professor Dumbledore inviting him to Dumbledore Mansion, where he lived. He and five other guests were going there tonight. Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Malfoy, and Cho Chang were all invited. He happily put on his robes and grabbed his broomstick. Uncle Vernon wouldn't drive him there so he had to fly. Oh well, that would be more fun than sitting in a car with that grumpy old fat guy.  
  
  
  
After a half an hour fight, Harry landed in front of the mansion. The rain was falling heavily down and lightning was crashing behind it. It was a spooky place that sat on a hilltop. Harry shrugged of all thoughts of doubt about the place and knocked on the door.  
  
  
  
"Ah, you must be Mr. Green," a butler said to him.  
  
"Er…no, I am Harry Potter and I…" he began, but the butler shook his head.  
  
"Tonight, you will be obliged to use an alias from my employer," the butler said. "Now, You are Harry Green."  
  
"OK, Harry Green then," Harry said, holding up his hands, "Whatever you say."  
  
The butler led Harry to the Library and there he saw the other five guests.  
  
"This is Hermione White, Ronald Plum, Cho Scarlet, Draco Mustard and Ginny Peacock."  
  
"You idiot, I know who they are," Harry said in protest to this stunt.  
  
"Everyone, this is Harry Green," the butler said, ignoring Harry's protest.  
  
"No he isn't, I am Draco Malfoy, not Mustard and that's Harry Potter," Malfoy sneered at the butler.  
  
"NO! You are mistaken, Colonel Mustard…."  
  
"Hey, since when is he a Colonel?" Ron snapped at the butler.  
  
"Silence, Professor Plum," the butler said.  
  
"Hey, since when is Ron smart enough to be a professor?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Yeah…wait," Ron said puzzled.  
  
"All of you, please calm down!" the butler said, waving his arms at them.  
  
But then the doors opened again and in came Professor Dumbledore along with a maid carrying a tray with champagne on it.  
  
"Hey! We can't drink!" Ginny said, pointing at the tray. "It's illegal and my mum will kill us right Ron…Ron?"  
  
Ron was already downing his second glass of the champagne while the maid giggled.  
  
"Oh, what was…hic…Ginny?" he asked, picking up a third.  
  
"Ron!" Hermione snapped. Draco then went up and took a glass.  
  
"This drink is too good for you Weasley," he said to him.  
  
"Plum," the butler corrected.  
  
"No…Weasley," Draco sneered.  
  
"Plum."  
  
"Weasley."  
  
"PLUM!"  
  
"Fine! Plum, are you happy?"  
  
"Yes," the butler said.  
  
"Ahem," Dumbledore said, clearing his throat. "We are here on serious business. Would anyone care for fruit or desert?"  
  
They shook their heads, except Ron, who wanted both.  
  
"Then, let us adjourn to the Study."  
  
The six students followed Dumbledore into the Study and sat down.  
  
"Now, you all have one thing in common," Dumbledore began.  
  
"We're all Hogwarts students?" Cho asked him.  
  
"No, now no interruptions. You are all being blackmailed."  
  
"I'm not being blackmailed!" Hermione said to him.  
  
"Yeah, my life is an open book, I've never done anything wrong," Draco said defensively.  
  
"You wish, Mustard," Ron muttered.  
  
"I am NOT being blackmailed!" Hermione repeated.  
  
"Oh, er…I forgot about that. Here," Dumbledore said as he stood. He passed out envelopes to them all. They were blackmails. Consequence of not paying the blackmailer was that he would tell these things to Rita Skeeter. "I received these to give to you last week."  
  
"Hey, you're not that stupid, are you? Who'd be dumb enough to blackmail a Weasley!" Ron snapped at him.  
  
"Yeah," Ginny agreed.  
  
"You are NOT Weasley. Ms. Peacock and Professor Plum," Dumbledore corrected them.  
  
"Fine," Ginny said, "Wait, we're siblings! How do we have different last names?"  
  
"You could have gotten married!" Draco said to Ginny.  
  
"Married? I'm not even an adult!"  
  
"I have done no such thing!" Hermione blurted out to Dumbledore.  
  
"Done what?" Harry asked her.  
  
"I have NEVER cheated on a test in my life!" Hermione yelled.  
  
"Ooh, Hermione's a cheater, Hermione's a cheater," Ron chanted drunkenly, slurring his words.  
  
"Stuff it, Plum," Cho said to him.  
  
"Now, since everyone is on the same boat, there is no harm in my revealing some details and my instructions are to do so." Dumbledore's butler said as he picked up an envelope. With a knife, he cut it open.  
  
"Colonel Mustard," the butler began.  
  
"Wait, I want to say it," Draco sighed.  
  
"Be my guest," Dumbledore said.  
  
"I AM your guest. Anyway, I, well. To please my father, I must be perfect."  
  
"Perfectly evil," Harry muttered to Hermione and Ron.  
  
"Oh, what's your secret?" Ginny asked. "You're NOT perfect."  
  
"I'm shocked," Cho said sarcastically.  
  
"NO! Now let me finish. I am a homosexual, and if my father found out, he would disown me. But… Harry!" Draco sighed, throwing himself at Harry's knees and hugging his legs. "I…love you!"  
  
Harry looked at him with disgust and kicked him in the stomach.  
  
"Ooh…Harry's got a boyfriend!" a drunken Ron slurred.  
  
"I do not! I am NOT QUEER!" Harry shouted, standing up and getting away from Draco Mustard.  
  
"Moving right along then," the butler cut in, "Ms. Scarlet, where did you really meet Mr. Diggory?"  
  
"What? Oh no, I knew this would come back to haunt me," Cho sighed, putting her hand to her face.  
  
"At your, hmm, summer job perhaps?" the butler asked.  
  
"Yes, I work at a hotel where gentleman can be in the company of a young lady...for a short while."  
  
"Really, what's the phone number," Ron slurred.  
  
"Oh, please," Cho said in disgust, pushing him away.  
  
"Anyway," the butler said, turning towards Harry. "Mr. Green, you aren't the perfect little boy that the media makes you out to be, are you?"  
  
"Wait, how do you know all of this?" Harry asked, stalling.  
  
"We're special," the butler answered, "You, you are actually working for the very person that everyone believes you to be fighting!"  
  
"Harry," Hermione gasped.  
  
"You helped kill my Cedric!" Cho said, red in the face.  
  
"It's true, the fights, they are all an act!" Harry confessed. "No one has ever seen one of them, have they? You are all too stupid to realize that, even the cheating Hermione!"  
  
"I'm not stupid, I'm a professor!" Ron slurred.  
  
"You are not," Draco said to him. "Harry, I still love you!" he added.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm not one. Oh," Ron said sadly.  
  
"Eet iz OK," The maid said, putting an arm around him.  
  
"Professor Plum," the butler said.  
  
"No, Ginny first!" Ron said.  
  
"Ron, you're supposed to protect me like a brother!" Ginny protested.  
  
"Oh, too bad," Ron slurred.  
  
"OK," the butler sighed, turning to Ginny, "Mrs. Peacock…"  
  
"I'm not married," Ginny snapped.  
  
"Fine. Ms. Peacock, your family is poor, so where did you come by those new, smashing robes that you are wearing?"  
  
"Er…I found them in a trash can," Ginny lied.  
  
"No, you've been stealing a the family money to go on little shopping sprees at Diagon Alley, haven't you?"  
  
"Hey, I need things too," Ron moaned. "I need money!"  
  
"To get better dress robes you mean," Draco sneered.  
  
"My robes are fine," Ron slurred.  
  
"Ruffles and all," Draco said.  
  
"You fag," Ron muttered.  
  
"Moseuir, calm down," the maid said, stroking his head as if he was a cat.  
  
"Moving right along," the butler said as he turned to Ron. "Professor Plum,"  
  
"Not yet, do somebody else," Ron slurred.  
  
"There is no one else," the butler commented.  
  
"Well, do someone again," Ron said.  
  
"No, it's your turn," the butler said angrily. "Now, we all know that you are not smart enough to get good marks in school. And, I know that you have been using the Imperious Curse to make your teachers give you good marks, right?"  
  
"It's true!" Ron wailed.  
  
"How dare you! Some of us work to get our grades!" Hermione scolded him.  
  
"Yes, cheating is quite difficult," Cho snapped at her.  
  
"Well, that was uncalled for," Hermione said, shocked.  
  
"You made Percy teach you that curse, and then you used it on your very teachers just to pass school. You should be ashamed Professor Ronald Plum! Plum…Plum…Plum are you even listening?"  
  
No, he wasn't listening, he was too busy making out with the maid.  
  
"RON!" They all shouted. The maid and Ron looked at them all. He had lipstick smeared all over his face.  
  
"Sorry," Ron mumbled. "Hey, she's hot."  
  
"Now that we all know what you are being blackmailed for…"  
  
"Hey! Who's blackmailing us?" Harry asked him.  
  
"Hey, what's Dumbledore's little secret?" Cho Scarlet asked.  
  
"His secret?" the butler asked, pointing to Dumbledore, "Hadn't you guess, he's the one who's blackmailing you all."  
  
"You son of a bitch!" Draco said as he came toward Dumbledore.  
  
"How could you do this?" Hermione and Ginny asked.  
  
"Hey, he just want's ta makes moneys!" Ron slurred.  
  
"Stuff it Ron!" Harry shouted at him.  
  
"Now, let's just report this to the Ministry and everything will be fine." The butler was walking toward the fire, getting ready to call.  
  
"I have a better idea," Dumbledore said. He stood and walked to the hall.  
  
"Where are you going?" the butler asked.  
  
"Just getting my little bag from the hall. I think I can help them make up their minds."  
  
Dumbledore was only gone for a couple of seconds when he came back in.  
  
He opened the bag and gestured them all closer.  
  
"Who can guess what's in here?" he asked.  
  
"The evidence against us, no doubt," Cho said rudely.  
  
Dumbledore chuckled as he passed them out. Then he walked over and leaned against the wall.  
  
"Open them," he said.  
  
"Why not, I enjoy getting presents from strange men," Cho said.  
  
"But, Dumbledore's not a stranger," Harry informed her.  
  
"But he's strange," Cho retorted. She pulled the ribbon off of the package and removed the lid. She dumped out a candlestick. "A candlestick…what's this for?"  
  
The rest of them opened their gifts too. Hermione got a rope, Harry got the lead pipe, Ron got the revolver, Draco got the wrench and Ginny got a knife.  
  
"Wow, what's this?" Ron asked, holding up the gun.  
  
"In your hands," Dumbledore began, "you each hold a lethal weapon."  
  
"Hey, we've already got wands you idiot! We could hurt people with those you know!" Draco yelled at him.  
  
"The fag's got a point," Ron slurred rudely at Draco.  
  
"Yeah, we could always use the Avada Kerdava curse!" Hermione snapped.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Dumbledore yelled, stopping the commotion. "Anyway, you could kill Wadsworth, the butler, now, and only the seven of us will ever know." Wadsworth's eyes were wide and full of fear. "I will make sure you will be exposed if you turn me in, I'll see to that in court. So I suggest that one of you kills Wadsworth…now!"  
  
And then he shut off the lights. 


End file.
